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Writer's pictureTR Olivia A Wynn Blackwood

To Be Depressed… Or Not To Be


I stumbled across this article while on LinkedIn the other day. It's no secret or surprise that I struggle with my own mental health. I mean, look at the name of this blog. I consider myself to be just as conflicted and misguided as Hamlet. I usually don't react or express my own opinions on social media, but this article prompted me to do so.


I started studying psychology to get a better understanding of my own #mentalhealth difficulties. I've always had this deep-seated (more like deeply seeded and rooted) feeling of brokenness. I started mental health treatment to 'fix' what was broken within me. Through the trials and tribulations, I still often wonder:


What is wrong with me

Why do I feel this way or think this way?

Why can't I just be normal?

Why am I not responding to treatment the way I wish I would?

Why am I cursed with a chemical imbalance?

Why isn't anything working?

Why am I still broken?


Articles like this give me some sort of sense of relief. I think it's a common misconception that a chemical imbalance causes #depression; it's an irregularity or worse, it's just a sadness that is completely in one's own control. It's insightful as I still struggle to fully comprehend the complexities of my own mind. Something I'm starting to feel is that my disturbances aren't just neurochemical; I'm not responding to treatment as expected because my 'depression' is not as expected. Call it treatment-resistant, call me resistant, whatever guise you may. However, my illness is an illness and goes far beyond 'just a momentary slump'.


As an associate mental health therapist, a psychedelic integrationist, an ethnobotanical research writer, a creative content creator... as an overall person, I encourage my clients, readers, loved ones, and anyone I engage with to internalize that they are not alone in their experiences, which is completely normal and completely fine. Yet I often forget for myself, I also am reminded through my professional work and my own healing journey:


I am not alone,

It is normal,

and it’s okay to not know.


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